How to have beautiful breasts, Part I: the carrier side.
- Have breasts.
- Don’t put plastic in it.
- If you feel the urge to put plastic in it, talk to a psychologist first.
- If you let people’s perceptions of your breasts dictate your behavior, you’ll never grow as a person.
How to have beautiful breasts, Part II: the viewer side (very important).
- Yes, those tits, boobs, bazongas, hooters, whatever you call them seem outstanding to you. They are beautiful. It's OK. Get over it.
- Don’t stare at them.
- Breasts are a secondary sexual characteristic. We got that. The essential function is to nurture a newborn. Everything else is secondary and culturally induced.
- I know it's tempting but regarding breasts never confuse comment with a compliment. Watch the sass, Captain Sassypants.
- Don’t. Stare. At. Them.
Thank you very much for listening. And now, just continue to be as wonderful as you are.
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